Mary J.Blige talks ahead of Birmingham gig
Soul icon Mary J Blige has never been afraid to lay it all on the line. The singer-model-actress-and-producer has worn her heart on her sleeve throughout her career.
During that time, she’s racked up nine Grammy Awards, while receiving a record 30 nominations. She’s sold more than 50 million albums and endured a decade-long blitz of drink and drugs.,
“The way I was living, I should have been dead,” she says. Ten years were lost as she span out of control in an alcohol- and cocaine-fuelled fog. We all go through trials and tribulations, but that’s when we move forward. It’s the heavy times, not the happy times, that grow us up.”
Mary released a new album, Strength of a Woman, in April. It followed the break-up of her marriage to Kendu Isaacs, from whom she filed for divorce in July last year.
She says: “I don’t know if people seen the last eight or five years of my life, but it’s been hell. And it’s been ugly and it’s been public and it’s been nasty. So, in the midst of all that. And the stuff that people don’t even know about – fighting for my life, fighting for my marriage, fighting for my morals and everything – I discovered my strength. My strength, my real strength is discovered.”
Mary, who is back on the road and headlines Birmingham’s O2 Academy tomorrow, says Strength of a Woman helped to get her through some tough times.
“The journey that got us here is that every woman can relate to a woman out there fighting for her marriage. When I first started writing this album I was fighting for my marriage. There were a lot of layers to me peeled back for this marriage. I really thought I did [find] the love of my life.”
Having a strong religion also played a part in stepping out of an era of darkness.
“Being Mary J. Blige the celebrity is secondary and I’m a human being first and I suffer just like everyone else.
“I believe that I wasn’t given this career or this job as a singer or this gift from God to sit down and say, ‘I’m going to suffer from the world in silence and die.’ And it’s therapeutic for me as well. So, you know, that’s why. It’s not just for me.”
Strength of a Woman has already been a hit around the world, heading straight into the USA chart at number three. The record began with the single Thick Of It, which is riven with painful emotions.
“This song was originally written about me fighting for my marriage. The lyrics were completely different, and it was saying things like ‘We just don’t give up when we’re in the thick of it’. And then with all of this happening, it was hard to go back to the studio and do it, but I had to do it, in order to – how can I say it? – get free, because my music is therapeutic to me as well. And if I don’t write about it and if I don’t sing about where I am in my life, I won’t start a healing process.”
Mary found it hard to be truthful in the studio because she had encountered so many raw emotions. However, letting go of unhappy memories proved theraputic.
“It was hard because of the pain, but it was good to get it out. It made me cry, and then I had to go sing it and cry and get through it. But I believe that there’s a purpose for me here on this Earth, and I think it’s so I can live and become these things so people can heal from them. I don’t mind the pain. I don’t mind it all, because it hurts so good. It hurts so good.
“It’s hard, it’s a responsibility being Mary J. Blige. I wouldn’t trade it – but the trials and tribulations I could do without. If I could do it without the trials – but those are the things that make us or break us. And, in my case, I’m not going to be broken.”
Mary grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. She was born in Bronx, New York, and was the second of four children born to a nurse, Cora, and jazz musician, Thomas Blige. The family lived on her mother’s earnings after her father left the family when she was a young child. She discovered the power of music when she was singing at a Pentecostal church, which inspired her to pursue a career in music. She joined a band called Pride and a number of friends and family members provided encouragement.
Her mother remains her biggest inspiration, even after so many years.
“We grew up in a single-parent home. My mom raised us by herself, my dad wasn’t there. And I never really seen this woman cry. I seen her work really, really hard. I see her love hard and take care of her children. We didn’t live in a great environment, but she was so strong. You never really saw her in pain. But through the songs she listened to, like Victim by Candi Staton – you knew something was wrong. And as a child, I knew, but she never turned around and just started crying in our face. She just always carried herself like a woman, like a lady, and she never let us see her going through it.”
