Andy Richardson: Now is the time to do acts of kindness for our neighbours
Ordinarily, there would be ramifications from She Who Must Be Obeyed if the family cat were turned into a handbag. But these are not normal times – and Itchy is not a normal cat.
Covid-19 has engendered behaviour that might best be termed ‘creative weirdness’. Those of us who have been observing the Government edict to stay indoors have found new and interesting ways to pass the time. Oh, and if you’ve not been observing the Government edict then now is the time. Do us all a favour and get with the programme. And close your door on the way in.
The cat, incidentally, purred his approval at the being transmogrified into a handbag and is now refusing to leave the sofa unless he’s carried like a Chloé accessory. Legs are for dogs, or so he thinks. And cats must be carried as though they were emperors swaddled in towels.
We managed to step outside. She agreed to be Curtly Ambrose and I decided to be David Gower. And as the neighbours wondered where the whack of leather and willow was coming from, I creamed the ball against a quivering panel fence, imagining I’d crashed Curtly for four through the covers. Cricket is a game of kings and it’s never too early in the season to start.
I’ve started the campaign to invest in a bowling machine. They only cost – cough, cough, cough – and if I buy one I’ll be able to play throughout what’s going to be a long and difficult summer without breaking any rules on social distancing.
The world may spin off its axis, but there will always be cricket.
Now is the time, of course, to start a new business. It has long been my motto that while everybody is looking to the left, it’s best to turn to the right. And so my friend and I have decided to start a new venture so as to make hay when the sun shines. We have shared our plans with friends and to a man they believe we are utterly bonkers. Which is just the way we like it.
A Chinese friend experienced Covid-19 at the start of the year. And her experience is providing love and light. Back in January, following Chinese New Year, she was confined to her apartment for two weeks while us fools in the West imagined the scientists might be wrong and that strange pneumonia wouldn’t travel 8,169km to our shores. How wrong we were. And how pleasing it was to learn that her life is back to normal, as ours soon will be.
My friend also warned me of the pitfalls of working from home; encouraging me to beware of the constant distractions. She has a point. Writing a column when there are 4,000 CDs in the office takes a special kind of discipline. And where I once gazed across a desk at a fellow writer who is something of an institution, I now peer across the sofa at a ball of fur who wants to be turned into a handbag and purrs when I eat crisps. Strange times indeed.
Day one of the Covid-19 home working routine didn’t work out so well. It went something like this: eat, write, listen to music, check the news, eat, check the news, eat, visit the fridge, eat, eat, eat, Tweet, write a bit more, come up with a few ideas, eat, take a bath, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.
Things are improving and I am reasonably confident that when the office doors swing open I won’t be one of the ones whose colleagues mistake him for a really fat Labrador.
Still, there is light amid the Covid-19 gloom. Indiscriminate acts of kindness abound. Money, food, logistical support and more are being offered without request for reward by people who are doing the right thing.
And while the headlines are understandably about the toilet roll freaks – seriously, what are they going to do with that much loo roll? – there are those who are delivering food to the elderly, making donations to charity, slipping a few quid to friends, family and workmates or making a caring phone call just because it’s nice to be nice.
The other thing is this: Our medical staff are heroic. Pictures of doctors and nurses, their faces grooved with pressure lines from face masks, remind us of how hard they are working.
They indicate that Covid-19 isn’t a joke, that it can and will catch out those who don’t self-isolate, that it can hurt the young as much as it hurts the elderly, that it’s anything but a joke. We can emerge from this with credit, of course, by keeping our cool, helping others and keeping ourselves to ourselves. There’s never been a better time to do the right thing. Stay safe.
