Horror films of today are scarily bad

For a good few weeks now, I've been searching for the perfect horror film for a night of PJs, popcorn and peeping out from behind the sofa cushions.

But it's slim pickings out there folks.

Now, I'm by no means a fearless film watcher, in fact I used to be scared by The Smooze in the My Little Pony movie, but I've got to say, today's horror flicks are pretty lame, tame and tired.

From Insidious to Cabin In The Woods, I've seen some stinkers recently.

The latter was a particular low point. Look, I know it's supposed to be a spoof but I was still expecting at least a few scares. Not a killer unicorn. I kid you not.

Anyways, an old-fashioned fright is good for you. It gets your blood pumping, adrenalin rushing and brings you closer, often quite literally, to your nearest and dearest. When the credits roll and the lights go up, it's a giggle to have the heebee jeebies and be scared to open your wardrobe door.

And this is what I've been craving as part of my quest for the perfect petrifying night in – but to no avail.

The films are either so over-the-top and gory they're pantomime-esque or the ending so ridiculous, any satisfying scares that went before it are undone.

I've even given sci-fi horror (seriously uncharted territory for me) a blast in recent weeks but still no success. Step forward Prometheus: 124 minutes of space strangeness, squids, snakes and not much else.

This whole episode has left me somewhat bamboozled as I used to be scared of almost every movie I watched.

In my childhood, it went from Alice in Wonderland to Gremlins 2 and The Fly. As a teenager, Pet Cemetery, The Blair Witch Project and The Ring scared the bejesus out of me.

Especially The Ring. That's where that fear of opening the wardrobe door came from. Shudder.

But it's a completely different story these days. The only sad conclusion I can come to is that I'm growing up. That, or the internet and modern technology has completely eaten away at my imagination.

Either way, it's pretty depressing.

Is the inability to enjoy horror films yet another side effect of becoming a fully-fledged adult that I was unaware of?

Say it ain't so. I can cope with the two-day hangovers and the fact I now get excited by the JML Steam Pocket advert but, please, not the horror films.

So, if there is any genuinely scary flicks out there that will have me zipping up my onesie to my eyebrows, please let me know. Answers on a postcard and all that.

I want ghouls, ghosts and the living dead.

Oh, we're back to the newsdesk again.

One Last Thing

Jay Z is top of my tree.

Don't worry, this isn't going to be a poem.

But yeah, Shawn Corey Carter is my musical hero and I didn't think twice t'other day when parting with more than 70 quid for tickets to his upcoming gig.

Friends, family and work collegeaues have since balked at this figure. They've got 99 problems and the cost is one.

But, the fact of the matter is, this is what it costs these days to see the big-hitters.

And besides, you can't put a pricetag on your memories. In years to come, it won't be the 70 quid I remember, it'll be the gig itself.