Ker-ching it's a very merry Crimbo for festive music

Apparently, Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody has already raked in £500,000 in royalties this year alone, through radio plays, iTunes and CD sales.

Trust me, when Roy Wood says he wishes it could be Christmas every day, he means it.

He knew what he was doing when he kicked that song off with the merry jingle of the cash register.

That's all you need.

One big Christmas hit and that songwriter's gift will keep on giving, year after year after year.

It doesn't even need to have any festive relevance.

Louis Armstrong's All The Time In The World pops up on all those festive compilation albums on the basis that it was once used on a Guinness advert – during winter.

And can anyone please explain the religious link behind Frankie's Power of Love?

Yes, the video had a nativity scene but it made no sense then and it still doesn't now.

Their promo for Two Tribes worked and I'm pretty sure I got the message with Relax.

But I don't recall 'vampires' and 'the hooded claw' popping into Bethlehem on the night in question.

I'm pretty sure that Matthew, Mark, Luke or John would have dropped it in.

(Then again, no-one mentioned dinosaurs in the Old Testament, but we'll leave that for another time.)

Maybe it's all about sharp marketing.

You couldn't meet four less wise men than East 17 and yet Stay Another Day is regarded as a Christmas classic.

How has this happened?

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

December will be magical again for Kate Bush, David Essex will run through his winter's tale and Kim Wilde will have us rocking around the Christmas tree over the next few days.

No problem with that. I'm all for a bit of cheese and at least they hint at a festive message.

I don't even mind the novelty hits; Arthur Daley's What Are We Gonna Get 'Er Indoors? always raises a smile, particularly for Denis Waterman who wrote the song, recorded the song, performed the song and the Minder theme tune too.

But the real stars go for it in style and aren't afraid to use the C-word.

George Michael will be doubly delighted this year as the quirk of fashion has even brought his 1983 Last Christmas jumper back into fashion.

The Fairytale of New York is a classic, but forever tinged with sadness about the late, great Kirsty MacColl.

Jona Lewie's brilliant Stop The Cavalry transports me back to 1980 and Johnny Mathis is still my all-time fave with When A Child Is Born.

Sadly, Lennon's Merry Christmas (War is Over) is ruined by Yoko's mad wailing towards the end and – this is going to sound bad – Band Aid is banned in my house. Too many 80s flashbacks.

But at least they were Christmas songs – at Christmas.

A novel concept, since dispensed with by pantomime villain Mr S. Cowell, the Grinch who stole the Christmas number one slot for his X Factor minions. Boo! Hiss!

I suppose they were also in the days when you had to sell more than 50 records to reach number one – and it actually meant something.

Now the only people likely to know, listen to or care about what's top of the charts are 12-year-olds, agents, PR people and the artists themselves.

Unless of course, you're Noddy Holder.

Merry Xmas Everybody.