Is the curse of Big Bro about to strike again?

What with him being a 6ft 2ins piece of American beefcake and former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world, and me being a 5ft 10ins cut of rather less toned British meat who prefers thumping snooker balls to human beings.

But on one thing, we are totally united. From the very first bell, we've carried that same look of bemused disbelief over the antics going on in this year's Celebrity Big Brother house.

Now I know you don't sign up for this voyeuristic freak show unless you've got some degree of serious show-off tendencies (or are really, truly desperate for the cash and prepared to emerge with zero self-esteem), but the lengths which these so-called 'celebrities' are prepared to go in an attempt to steal the limelight these days is as astonishing as it is depressing.

In those early BB years, even a quick peck on the cheek was deemed too risky, knowing that cameras and microphones lingered in every wall, mirror and strategically placed flowerpot.

Now, though, it seems like anything goes. A fumble under the bedsheets leading to heaven-knows-what, blatant two-timing, half-naked romps in the swimming pool, and bitter verbal back-biting.

Do these people not realise that their actions can have life-changing consequences?

Even now, eight years on, for all the hard-hitting work he's done as a political activist, George Galloway is best known by millions for pretending to be a cat, supping imaginary milk from Rula Lenska's cupped hand.

Vanessa Feltz is still mocked for her meltdown back in 2001 after being nominated for eviction when she began writing words such as incarcerated, diffident, disparate, and frustrated on a chalk board.

Ever since Les Dennis was reduced to chatting to chickens and staring into space in 2002, melting down in the wake of his separation from Amanda Holden, he's spent much of his career sending up his behaviour, and playing on his little boy lost image.

And of course, Channel 4 dispensed with the services of John McCririck, who made derogatory remarks about women, picked his nose in his underwear and sulked after being denied Diet Coke . . . with an employment tribunal later ruling his "pantomime persona" had become "unpalatable".

But back to my unidentical twin Evander who, you sensed, was somewhat relieved to be booted out first. A look at his website suggests that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't done a whole lot of homework before signing up to the show.

His mottos include: "Don't let others determine your destination". Erm, sorry champ, but that's precisely what Big Brother sets out to do.

Then there was another: "If you don't quit, eventually you will win." Actually, if the public don't like you, you'll be out on your ear and there's sweet nothing you can do about it.

However, there will be several housemates who can relate to his final slogan: "Finishing properly is the hardest thing to do - particularly when you've shown yourself to be a love rat, or a sniping two-faced game player, in front of the nation, and are in danger of being forever branded public enemy number one."

The first half of that sentence is genuine Evander, but I made that last bit up...