Fluffy and light, Bake Off's still a showstopper

It's been 12 long months of white tent withdrawal: a life devoid of pastry, profiteroles and fabulous Mary Berry jackets.

So when the new series was finally announced for August 6, it's fair to say I reached Belieber-levels of excitement – and a little grey dot appeared on my iPhone calender to mark this most special of occasions.

Finally, I thought, Bake Off's back. Let's do this.

However, as is always the way, the editors of the Star never miss a chance for punishment: and I was put on a 3-11pm shift on Wednesday night.

Nooooooooooooooooo!

Honestly, I could have shed a tiny doughnut-shaped tear.

Cue the next 24 hours avoiding Twitter, Facebook and every other human on the planet. At one point, the subs desk started talking about it and, you'll be pleased to know, I killed them. I killed them all. I had no other option.

But thanks to the actual miracle that is catch-up TV, I've finally had my slice of Bake Off. I'm back in the land of the living.

And the verdict?

Brilliant.

Praise the Lord above, the producers haven't changed a single thing – apart from adding a few fancy camera angles.

I was worried, what with its new primetime BBC One slot, it might go a bit X Factor, all sexy and that. But no, it's still as heart-warming, twee and gentle as ever. As harmless as a dollop of mash.

Swiss rolls, cherry cakes and mini-treats were on the menu and, it has to be said, the contestants have stepped it up a notch. I've never seen such beautiful Swiss rolls. I didn't even know a Swiss roll could be beautiful but consider me schooled. They were patterned, they were topped with chocolate crowns, they were all-singing, all-dancing spongy cylinders of wonder.

Mel and Sue were as funny and badly-dressed as ever, Paul was still a bit fit and Mary spectacular.

The bakers were pretty ace too.

Obviously, Norman is the best. Norman, who was in the Navy, plays the clarinet and makes clocks and pottery. Norman is a MAN. It's even in his name. He builds things, he's reliable, I'm in love with him.

Martha meanwhile was adorable, not to mention super talented. Although the fact that she's 17 and capable of making such things technically makes her a mutant. When I was 17, I once made Super Noodles without using any water.

But, as ever, there's always one cracked egg in the box: step forward I'm-trying-too-hard-with-my-ironic-hairclips, Jordan.

Jordan is clearly desperate to carve himself out as a 'character', the kooky, accidentally-on-purpose tragically-dressed wildcard who'll land a big book deal. Well son, that's not what Bake Off's about: fall into line and whip us up a nice flan, will ya?

If he wins, it will be more of an injustice than Frances. Which is saying something.

P.S. I didn't actually kill the subs. Unfortunately.

@lizjoyce_star