Letter - Poking fun at Brussels in rhyme

A little fun at our EU friends expense . . . My apologies to Brussels in advance!

One, two, three, four, five

Once I caught a fish alive

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten

Then I let it go again

Why did you let it go?

Because Brussels told me so

Quotas full and that's my plight

Governments are always right.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

He sued the kings horses he sued the kings men

And now he is richer than all Dragon's Den.

Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow

If it's in the EU there will be a to do

If you haven't let MAFF and Co. know.

She sells seashells upon the seashore

But EU told you she can't any more

She sells seashells but needs a permit ticket

But she says No EU you can bloomin' stick it.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and way

But Brussels decided

They weren't confided

And told her to throw them away.

Mary had a little lamb

It hadn't got a billet

Brussels said we can't have that

And sent some men to kill it.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

And doesn't know where they're at

She's been reported and now she's deported

And you can thank Brussels for that.

Dave James, Craven Arms

• Over to you, readers . . . got any more verses to add (keep 'em clean!)?