Political column – August 5

1. Go To Work.

Now I know that people still do go to work, but I am talking in relative terms in comparison with the past. About one in 10 people now work entirely from home, and others work partly at home, partly at their workplace. The process was greatly accelerated by Rishi Sunak's fraud-friendly furlough scheme which paid people on condition they do no work and also led to a change of mindset in which hundreds of thousands of people have by choice left the workforce altogether.

2. Go To Church.

Now I know that people still do go to church, but I am again talking in relative terms in comparison with the past, and church attendance has halved since 1980, and all the major Christian denominations such as Anglican, Catholic and Presbyterian have seen falls in membership (although others, such as Orthodox and Pentecostal, have seen increases).

3. Wear hats.

Now I know that... actually, I've been through this and am not going to keep saying it. There was a point up to which, if you look at old photos, almost everybody wore a hat of some sort. And then, quite suddenly, and I think it was at some time in the 1930s, the universal hat-wearing habit stopped.

4. Answer The Phone By Giving Your Phone Number.

"Pimlico 138." That was the way to do it. Not even an introductory "hello." You told the caller who they were calling. We're going back to days when a lot of people didn't have phones at all because they were expensive. There wasn't industrialised phone scamming back then so the reason the practice fell into disuse, and it was around the 1970s, can't have anything to do with that.

5. Park The Car In The Garage.

Well, do you? Assuming you are lucky enough to have a garage in the first place, parking the car in it involves some faffing around. There has also been a tendency for cars to get fatter, so getting your car in may be a tight squeeze, and being able to get out of the driver's door consequently somewhat tricky. Most of all, garages are such useful storage space.

6. Send Letters.

Today is the era of email and digital messaging, so receiving a handwritten letter is a once-in-a-blue-moon, or never, experience, and when they do come they are from the older generation who were brought up that way.

Family historians can judge how people of yesteryear thought and acted by reading the letters they wrote, which are often cherished and kept. But as everybody deletes their emails, tomorrow's historians will find a body of evidence of thoughts and motivation entirely erased.

7. Wear Suits.

They don't even insist on it on cruises any more. Smart casual are the watchwords. You can even go without wearing a tie in the office without necessarily being ticked off. (Disclaimer: If you go without a tie and get the sack, don't blame me, it's your own fault.)

8. Address Women By Their Husband's Name.

My mum used to get letters addressed: "Mrs R C Neal." Those were my dad's initials. My mother's initial was E for Elizabeth. Addressing women in that way was entirely routine and commonplace. I think it was probably the feminist movement which put a stop to it.

9. Tell Jokes Based On Stereotypes.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... The underlying premise was that one was thick, one was mean, and one was stuck-up, and if you know which, watch out, you could be liable to arrest.

If you were part of the group being portrayed as, say, thick, you might well be offended – but that was just tough.

10 Readers' Choice.

I'll leave this last one for you to contribute as if you're of a certain age you're bound to be able to think of something (and do let me know).

There are zillions of contenders. You never get attended service at petrol pumps any more. Instead, ordinary people are allowed to dispense highly flammable liquid with no training whatsoever. Whistling, and particularly wolf whistling, are much rarer. And when did you last hear a harmonica on a record?