Mark Andrews: How to survive a nuclear strike, super-councils, NHS rules, and the dilemma facing Tesla owners

Got your emergency kit sorted yet? Five years since the UK was plunged into lockdown, it seems our cousins across the channel are getting a bit jumpy about the prospect of a Third World War, and have produced a guide on how to survive an invasion or nuclear attack.

The pamphlet, which is due to be delivered to every household in France over the summer, advises people to put together and 'emergency kit' of food, water, batteries, paracetamol, and gauze pads. In the event of a nuclear strike, it says people should stay indoors and lock all doors. Nope, in the midst of a nuclear wipe-out, the worst thing you can do is make it easy for burglars, or take the dog for a walk.

Don't you think it's a bit, well, how can I put this, unimaginative? At least our own Protect and Survive leaflet, issued by the Government in 1980,  gave a few tips on how to look after yourself. It recommended hiding under the dining table, and barricading yourself in with suitcases and sandbags. Now that's what I call protection.

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Jamie Scott, from Telford, needs to raise £120,000 to save her life.

The 48-year-old has a rare form of cancer, which only a new treatment called chemosaturation is able to treat.

The Government's own clinicians recommended this treatment should be made available on the NHS as far back as April 2021. But because it is classed as a ‘medical device’ rather than a ‘treatment/drug’, it must go through a much lengthier process before it can be approved for use by the NHS treatment. 

This could take up to 18 months. Jamie fears she might not have that long to live. 

It's all very well getting rid of NHS England to 'streamline' the NHS. But wouldn't it be wonderful if this concept was extended to injecting a bit of common sense into these sometimes heartless and absurd rules?

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Meanwhile, as the Government gets rid of one quango in the name of efficiency, and then looks at creating several more. 

Well sort of. 

Proposals to replace existing local government with new 'super-authorities' of 1.5 million people or more could leave Shropshire and Staffordshire with little choice but to join together, trampling over hundreds of years of history and eroding local accountability. Yes, in theory they will be headed by an elected mayor. But if that is somebody 20 miles away, in a town they have never visited, it's hardly democratic is it? Especially when you don't have the opportunity to vote against it in the first place.

It seems odd, at a time when both central and local government are desperately short of cash, that our leaders are looking to pour millions into something like this. But not half as odd as calling it 'devolution'.

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Apparently, some of the less-than-progressive utterances from Elon Musk are putting Tesla drivers in a bit of a moral dilemma. A couple of years ago, the electric cars were the must-have accessory for the affluent urban hipster wanting to show off their green credentials. But now they are deserting them in droves as they try to distance themselves from the chainsaw-wielding oddball.

I wonder what they will replace them with. One of those nice, ethical, electric cars from China, perhaps?