Rhodes on Putin's revenge, bribery on the net and people who are 'sick and tired' of masks

During the pandemic nothing has puzzled me more than the irrational rage some folk feel towards those who continue to wear masks. An irate Daily Telegraph reader says he is “sick and tired” of people who “assume the moral high ground by wearing a mask”.

Whatever happened to English tolerance or the right of free-born Brits to wear whatever they damn well choose? One good thing about wearing masks was how it instantly killed off the sour little debate about Islamic face coverings. I'll continue to wear a mask in shops for at least as long as the shops have window signs urging us to, especially during the flu season. And I will avoid people who are rabidly “sick and tired” of their fellow citizens. A mask is my choice and it's doing you no harm.

According to some reports, Putin's invasion troops may carry out public executions in Ukraine. Believe it. There is no justification for this grotesque invasion, and so Putin has had to invent one - a tale of Ukraine being taken over by Nazis and criminals. This demented narrative demands revenge. And the more “criminals and Nazis” the firing squads kill, the greater must have been the wickedness before Putin's “liberation”.

I particularly fear for those brave Ukrainians who showed their faces as they took up arms, built barricades and filled Molotov cocktails with petrol. You can bet the Kremlin's spooks are examining the footage and identifying the individuals. If Putin's invasion succeeds, after the tanks roll into the city centres, the knocks on the doors will start.

Do you take much notice of the positive, neutral and negative feedback racked up by traders on eBay? I recently gave a rare negative rating on a £20 purchase. Within hours, the seller was offering a full refund and five per cent off future purchases if “you do me a favour to revise the bad feedback to positive feedback”.

They think they can buy my integrity for twenty quid? Try a couple of grand in used fivers and we can talk.

In some versions of this column recently, John Cleese's famous line regarding the view from Fawlty Towers referred to wildebeest “swinging majestically” This should, of course, have read “sweeping majestically”. My apologies to wildebeest everywhere.