Peter Rhodes on wind power, tidal power and new powers for police to search – for vests
Ten years ago in this column, contemplating the prospect of Boris Johnson becoming prime minister , I wrote the following: “While it may be possible to be the buffoonish Mayor of London, with so many own-goals and skeletons in the cupboard, do we really want Boris Johnson in charge of our armed forces with his finger on Britain’s nuclear button?” A decade on, having watched the Tory leadership process, I think I'd rather see Boris's finger on the button than Liz Truss's.
If our glorious leaders had decided ten or 20 years ago to spend £100 billion on our creaking water supply, by now Britain could have some spectacular new lakes, limitless supplies of excellent drinking water, farm irrigation to cope with the worst drought, crystal-clean rivers and some of the safest and most beautiful swimming beaches in the world.
But they didn't. Instead, successive cohorts of politicians decided to spend £100 million on HS2, the train that nobody wants. Our thirsty, grubby great-grandchildren will think we were mad.
Those same great-grandchildren might also wonder why the UK invested quite so heavily in wind turbines, which produce electricity only when the wind blows, but spent hardly anything on tidal turbines which hold the promise of clean, endless, reliable, home-grown power all around our coast. Britain has some of the strongest tides in the world and yet we seem determined not to harness them. It is a mystery.
And here's another mystery. Why, during this forthcoming winter of despair, should we pay good money to help people keep warm when those same people are hell-bent on being cold?
I refer, of course, to those strange and perverse people, usually male, who insist on wearing shorts indoors and outdoors throughout the winter. I have no idea what possesses them. Maybe they think it's fashionable or healthy, or maybe they imagine they have sexy knees. But whatever the reason if they are deliberately shedding warmth, they should be denied any winter-fuel payments.
And why stop with shorts? Is it not time to consider USS, Underwear Stop-and-Search? Police suspecting anyone of not wearing thermal vests and long johns would take a peek and impose on-the-spot fines. Watch out, there's a vest-checker about. You know it makes sense.
