Peter Rhodes on punishing slavery, cleaning up limousines and your chance for a moment of fame
As part of its 100th anniversary celebrations, the BBC is inviting viewers to appear as extras in their favourite shows. You could be an alien on Doctor Who or a customer in the Queen Vic. Volunteer if you wish. I merely offer the cautionary tale of a friend who appeared as an extra in a pub scene in Emmerdale and was told off by the director for “over-acting with a packet of crisps.”
Dundee University has discovered that its founder, Mary Ann Baxter, profited from selling clothes worn by slaves. It has therefore agreed to “decolonise” its curriculum. But what sort of justice is it when the guilty party is allowed to set its own punishment?
If universities took slavery seriously, any profiteering from the vile trade should be acknowledged by closing the university, sacking the vice-chancellor and lecturers, sending all the students home and selling the premises, with all proceeds going to the Caribbean. If the penalties really hurt, I dare say unis, and other institutions, would be far less keen to root through their murky past.
The latest Rolls Royce is a clean, green, pure electric limo called the Spectre. According to one gushing review, its eco-friendly features “may encourage purchases by younger, more environmentally-conscious customers.” Oh, yeah? I bet that at £500,000 a time it is far more likely to be bought by billionaire sheiks who make their money pumping oil.
As soon as I heard Boris Johnson was breaking off a holiday and might contest the Tory leadership battle, an election slogan sprang to my mind: “I'm New Boris. I've stopped telling lies.”
Still on slogans, last week's fracking-fracas in the Commons was apparently a genderless affair, with both male and female Tories pushing and shoving their honourable friends. It occurred to me that this could make the Conservative Party a useful election banner: “Conservatives – the party that delivered equal-opportunities manhandling.”
Apologies. That should, of course, read personhandling.
All being well, a few days from now one of my relatives will have lived during the reign of two monarchs and three prime ministers, plus a European war and a global pandemic. He is my grandson. He is two-and-a-half. Interesting times, eh?
