Shropshire Star

Peter Rhodes on cleanfluencers, a useful castle and a spat about independence at the Beeb

The BBC is offended to be described by Twitter as “government-funded media”. A Beeb spokesperson declares it “is and always has been independent. We are funded by the British public through the licence fee".

Published
Last updated
Independent?

Well, sort of. Truth is, the licence fee was created and is sustained by the Government. Any citizen who refuses to pay can be dragged before the courts. Unique in British law, non-payment of the TV licence is not a civil debt but a criminal offence. What a nice little earner that has been for almost 100 years.

As for being independent, the Beeb is actually so deeply embedded in the Establishment and the status quo that it's hard to tell where Downing Street ends and Broadcasting House begins. Imagine if the “independent” BBC took an independent decision to ignore the Windsors and follow a republican editorial line. No more fawning coverage of coronations or jubilees or royal tours. How long would it be before those “independent” heads in BBC management rolled?

***

Labour's new attack-Sunak adverts promise a veritable New Jerusalem with tax dodgers brought to heel, sex offenders locked up and fair pay for all the workers. Frankly, I can't wait for Labour to win the next General Election because everything's going to be perfect. Just like last time.

***

After influencers, meet cleanfluencers, a new breed of online zealots hell-bent on sharing their home-cleaning tips to millions of social -media followers. If you ever wondered why your trainers looked old, your fruit juice stains persisted and your towels were not film star fluffy, here are the remedies, from soda crystals to essential oils. And when you've finished washing your washing, you then wash your washing machine.

Ploughing wearily through one cleanfluencer's tips this week, I was reminded of Shirley (Superwoman) Conran's wise words from way back in 1975: “Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.” The same applies to fluffing up towels.

***

Putting asylum seekers in hotels is ruinously expensive. Putting them on barges is disruptive and risky. Clearly, what we need is some massive building with acres of accommodation, surrounded by green fields in a location famous for its security and which is currently unoccupied. At last, a use for Stormont Castle.