You lot are all to blame for not voting in the right way
As the UK slips towards becoming a banana republic; but without the benefit of the bananas, climate, or being a republic; it is left to the Common Sense Party to ride to the rescue. And in an effort to be inclusive we are riding side saddle.
Let’s be honest MPs cannot be trusted to vote on which way to sit on a lavatory, hence the waste of time and breath talking about those eight indicative votes on 28/3.
The UK must face up to the fact that “democracy” is useless at getting anything done and Brexit is just the cream on the cake. Of course we politicians know who to blame, you lot, the blooming voters! You just keep refusing to vote the right way and in a big enough majority to get things done.
So having consulted that ultimate teller of truths, the internet, and searched under “How to run a country”, we here at the CSP have decided we urgently need to amend the qualifications that allow people aged 18 or over to vote.
The UK population is around 67m so let’s make a start on whittling it down to manageable numbers. Only those aged 30 to 50 will be able to vote. Before 30 people are still children and after 50 they can only think of retirement, plus only those who are buying or own a property can vote but only if they are not receiving any state benefits.
This brings the figure down to 314,715 voters. Obviously no football supporters of Arsenal will be allowed to vote, bringing the figure down to 314,714. Out of these only left handers and those who do not walk on the cracks in the pavement will be eligible, leaving 1,727 voters. Discounting those who drop litter, support overseas aid and are not very nice that leaves us with one voter.
The voter for all future UK elections and referendums is Mr Edmuno Ros of East Sussex. Please do not try to contact Mr Ros as he is now lodged in the Tower of London under armed guard. This will make future elections guaranteed to have a 100 per cent turnout and a 100 per cent in favour or against. Mr Ros’s views on Brexit? “Let’s get out of the EU asap and keep the £39bn payoff until they come to an arrangement we like.”
Peter Steggles, Longnor
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