Managing Mother’s Day after separation: How to keep the day special for everyone

Every March, families across the country come together to celebrate Mother’s Day - a time to appreciate and honour mums for their love and dedication. But for separated parents, the occasion can be emotionally charged, particularly when the usual parenting schedule means children are due to spend the day with their other parent.

National Family Mediation (NFM), the largest provider of family mediation in England and Wales, is encouraging separated parents to approach Mother’s Day with flexibility and cooperation to ensure children can celebrate in a way that feels right for them.

Sarah Hawkins, CEO of NFM, shares essential advice on how to navigate the occasion with as little conflict as possible:

1. Be Flexible

“If Mother’s Day falls on a weekend when the children are scheduled to be with their other parent, it’s worth having a conversation about making adjustments,” says Sarah. “The same applies to Father’s Day, birthdays, and other special occasions. A little give-and-take can go a long way in creating a positive environment for your children.”

2. Be Reasonable

“Rather than insisting on a full weekend together, consider asking for a few dedicated hours for a special brunch or lunch,” suggests Sarah. “And don’t forget, children may also want to see their paternal grandmother or other mother figures in their lives—finding a compromise benefits everyone.”

3. Be Genuine

“Requests for changes should be made with sincerity,” Sarah cautions. “We often see cases where one parent repeatedly alters plans simply to stir up conflict. Approach these conversations with the right intentions to keep communication amicable.”

4. Be Prepared to Adapt

“What works one year may not work the next. Circumstances change, and so do family dynamics,” Sarah explains. “For example, children may develop strong relationships with a step-parent and want to acknowledge them on Mother’s Day too. 

“Around 40% of the enquiries we now receive are from families whose needs have shifted over time—mediation can be invaluable in helping to renegotiate arrangements in a way that works for everyone.”

5. Be Willing to Talk

“If discussions about parenting schedules become difficult, mediation is an excellent way to resolve disputes,” Sarah advises. 

“An independent mediator can help parents reach agreements that reflect their children’s best interests. Thanks to the government’s Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, parents discussing child arrangements can access up to £500 towards mediation costs, making it an even more accessible option.”

6. Put the Children First

“Above all, decisions should always prioritise the well-being of the children,” Sarah emphasises. “If they wish to spend time with step-mums or grandmothers on Mother’s Day, it’s important to acknowledge and respect that. Digging in your heels for the sake of it only creates unnecessary tension.”

NFM’s accredited mediators help families navigate separation and co-parenting with minimal stress, ensuring long-term solutions that work for everyone involved. In addition to the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, Legal Aid remains available for those who qualify.

NFM also offers Child-Inclusive Mediation, allowing children to have their voices heard in the decision-making process. A specially trained mediator can speak directly with the children to understand their views and feelings, ensuring their needs are at the heart of any parenting agreement.

For more information about mediation and how it can help, visit the NFM website. www.nfm.org.uk